Reviews: Losing Your Voice When Your Choice Has Been Snatched Away πŸšΊ

Image Credit: Unsplash+

Ironically, our country is in a major election year and we are going to hear a lot about women’s reproductive rights. But let me put out this disclaimer, this post is not about a political agenda, but about a woman’s right to choose whether she wants to have children and not have someone else make that choice for her.

This discussion comes as a result of two books I read this summer, based on actual accounts about how a female’s ‘voice or decision to choose’ to get pregnant was taken away from them without them knowing about it, or even being consulted about it. Below, I spotlight two books, Vital Signs by Robin Cook which is the second time I read it, and Take My Hand by Dolen Perkins-Valdez, which was included in my post A Literary Roadtrip in July. I highly recommend both books, whether you’re interested in women’s reproductive rights or not.

Vital Signs by Robin Cook (IVF for profit and forced female sterilization)I first read this book in 1991 when it was released. Vital Signs is truly a medical thriller laced with unimaginable conspiracies surrounding women patients being treated for infertility with IVF. As the story unfolds there is something deeper and more sinister about what’s behind women’s reproductive rights and the clinics covering up horrific secrets than you could imagine.

These clinics are sitting on a potential gold mine with their IVF technology and women have put their trust in these clinics to help them start a family. The IVF program was so successful that the players in the game needed to do something to maintain and grow revenue. They had to make sure that IVF wasn’t successful too quickly. So, at $10,000 per cycle, they wanted to run their patients through as many cycles as possible. Yet, ultimately they wanted all of their patients to conceive. That meant a better reputation for them. More business and money in their pockets by creating loopholes for profit!

Take My Hand by Dolen Perkins-Valdez (Forced female sterilization)

The novel Take My Hand ranges from sadness to injustice, to infuriation, to redemption. Yet, there was no happy ending for the individuals involved. Inspired by actual, historical events, this novel is moving, meaningful, and quite uncomfortable.

The protagonist, Civil Townsend, a Black nurse in post-segregated Alabama, plans to make a difference in her community. She wants to help women make their own choices for their lives and bodies. She works for the Montgomery Family Planning Clinic which goes out to minister shots to girls in impoverished communities. When Civil discovers that she has administered the drug, Depo-Provera, also known as the birth control shot or the Depo shot, to two sisters, India and Erica, she suspects these injections are medically unethical, and she feels guilty and responsible for injecting them with the shot. She later learns that one of the sisters has not begun her menstrual cycle, and neither is sexually active.

When Civil questioned and launched an investigation on why the horrific forced sterilization of mostly poor, Black female recipients of welfare benefits without their consent under federally funded programs was being done, the case winds up reaching the federal government in Washington, DC, for a federal hearing.

Now, while I enjoyed reading both books, I can’t say I was not disturbed or angered by these stories which are based on actual past events. When I read Possessing the Secret of Joy by Alice Walker, I literally couldn’t sit down to read it when I read about the trauma of female initiation in the Olinkan culture that resulted in genital mutilation (or genital circumcision) on young girls. This was intended to suppress sexual arousal in females where ultimately men can barbarically have their way with them. Many activists are still trying to have this practice abolished today around the world.

While I personally find the female reproductive practices in these novels horrendous, it’s time to wake up, give respect, and bring the injustice to female bodies and the mental stress that accompanies these practices to an end, permanently. The muffled voices of girls and women who have cried and suffered from decisions made by someone else about their bodies is an injustice, shackles their voices and is a heavy burden they should never have to bear alone or at all. It’s interesting how we don’t see, talk about or hear about the scope of agony such practices are endured among males. May sensitivity, compassion, and humanity reign. May the voices that were lost rise again. (Image Credit: OlcayErtem/Pixabay)

76 thoughts on “Reviews: Losing Your Voice When Your Choice Has Been Snatched Away πŸšΊ

  1. What a powerful post activist-Kym. Women and girls’ bodies have been contested spaces at the whim of mostly male decision makers. The pushback on sexual reproductive health and rights has resulted in the loss of bodily autonomy and a woman’s right to choose what is right for HER body or girls losing their right to sexual pleasure by the barbaric act of female genital mutilation. We’ll said Kym!!! πŸ’ͺ🏽πŸ’ͺ🏽 πŸ’ͺ🏽

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  2. I’m concerned that in discussions about Women’s Rights, the rights of unborn children often seem overlooked. There seems to be little consideration for the voiceless in these debates. While recognizing that not all pregnancies result from consensual acts, it’s important to also consider the rights of the unborn. Why are they often unrecognized, and where is the accountability in these situations?

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  3. I think, Kym, that it would be helpful if children at the right age were learning at school about contraception as preventing pregnancy is healthier than abortion. I share your views, Kym, about women having the right to decide about their bodies. It is important to draw attention to this issue during the general election.

    Joanna

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  4. This is so powerful, Chickie! You hit on key points here that aren’t just about abortion. A man is not going to make decisions for me. I’m worth just as much as they are, and they cannot appreciate what women go through. Great post, mah chickiepotpie!

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  5. Oh my goodness Dawn my friend thank you so much for understanding the choices that so many of us don’t seem to realize the level of control for our bodies others seem to take away, especially female genital mutilation that occur in conditions that are not sanitary. Truly barbaric! I’ve never understood this practice and never will. So many girls lost their lives just from bleeding to death. They weren’t given options and now a life that was already here is gone. I can’t find the justice in that.

    And you’re right, mostly male decision makers are behind what they “think” we should do. 😣 I appreciate you chiming in Queen Dee! πŸ™πŸΌ “Our bodies”…”Our voices.” πŸ’– Nuff love!

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  6. Hey there Darlene, and thanks so much for chiming in to this discussion. Your concern about unborn children is very valid, yet women’s reproductive rights has so many moving parts when it comes to the female voice about what she feels is the best option for her at that given time. In this particular post, I point out some of those other moving parts that is rarely discussed where a woman’s voice has been silenced (like involuntary sterilization of young poor girls, female genital mutilation, and big profits coming from IVF clinics at the mental and physical cost of the woman.) It is in my opinion that when discussions about women’s reproductive rights are brought up, we tend to zero in on abortion while other concerns are left out of the equation for total reproductive decisions by a woman.

    I’ve known a few girls who panicked when they found out they were pregnant in high school/college and the so-called boyfriend noted that it wasn’t his problem. Sadly, most of those girls didn’t have a support system where they could make a plausible decision without being bashed morally and judged for choosing to get an abortion. I suppose my big question is, “When are boys/men going to be held accountable for the role they played in this equation?” It’s a question no one seems to be able to answer, at least not yet. I guess, in my opinion, females shouldn’t be villainized for making a choice that may not be a popular one based on their individual situation, when you need sperm to make a baby. Men should be held at just as high of a moral standing as expected for women. If they were held accountable then there wouldn’t be so many single mothers out here trying to play more than one parental role. Darlene, I appreciate this healthy conversation and thank you so much for your positive feedback. Enjoy the rest of your week! Cheers! πŸ₯°πŸ₯‚πŸ€—

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  7. Miz Pat, honey chile, you are on point. 😜 Thanks girl for your input. I noted on an earlier comment that there are so many moving parts of the women’s reproductive rights movement that is not discussed when this subject is brought up. But here’s the thing, why are programs being cut to help the least of our children who are already born and here, to live, survive and thrive? As you noted, money…position…influence are options a lot of people can’t afford. Thanks so much “Your Honor!” πŸ‘©πŸΌβ€βš–οΈπŸ§¬βš– I appreciate you sistah friend. πŸ™πŸΌ

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  8. Oh my dear Joanna, you nailed the teaching tool that would be helpful for kids (at the right age) in school. In this day and time, when it is appropriate, children should be taught about contraception and other ways they should tell someone about being touched inappropriately without feeling ashamed about it. Sadly, this is a tragic reality for boys and girls. Predators don’t care about the age.

    When I was in school all we heard about was abstinence. Still, that didn’t stop anyone when they were “in heat.” πŸ₯΅ Women’s Reproductive Rights goes beyond the abortion bullet point, but rarely do we hear about the other issues I pointed out in this post, because they are more of a profit maker for investors (predominantly men) in many cases.

    Thanks so much for engaging in this healthy conversation my dear friend. I appreciate ya Joanna! Cheers! πŸ˜πŸ’–πŸ₯°

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  9. OMG KymberNoodle, now meow…I love your fierceness. πŸ… Thank you for echoing what many have said about reproductive rights not being just about abortion.

    Girl, I had a gynecologist who had the nerve to tell me that I should get a hysterectomy if I wasn’t going to have a child. Can you believe that? Then I thought about what could have happened after my miscarriage and “if” my OBGYN at that time did something I was unaware of him doing during my “pap smear.” Nurses weren’t required to be in the room during examinations at that time. Of course, my suspicions could not be proven, because I didn’t think about it until years later! But after reading about involuntary sterilizations being done to many women geographically who simply thought they were going in for an annual exam, left me wondering. I just couldn’t remain quiet when I have seen and heard so much.

    And you’re so right, if men could go through a fraction of what women’s bodies have to go through, even monthly, they would go sit, shut up, leave our bodies alone, and face a corner until we say “green light!” 🀣 Thanks so much ladybug! I appreciate ya! πŸ€—πŸ™πŸΌπŸ˜ Smooches! 😘

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  10. Oh my gosh Maggie, thanks so much for your warm and comforting words my friend. πŸ™πŸΌ I am so on board with you. It is unimaginable for someone to make a choice about my body like I’m a Barbie Doll and that is not okay! It’s infuriating.

    This is a decision for a woman, unless she is unable to make a decision for herself. At that point have another woman help with her decision. Reproductive Rights for Women has more moving parts than a football team. 😜 So why should the captain of that team decide what is best for a woman when they have no healthcare expertise or degree to even make a suggestion, AND the woman isn’t on their team? 😲 Go figure! πŸ€·πŸΌβ€β™€οΈ Girl, some things just don’t make sense. Thanks for your strength of mind, body and spirit Mags! You rock! Hugs and smooches! πŸ˜πŸ’–πŸ˜˜

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  11. AMEN, AMEN, AMEN Mary! πŸ™ŒπŸΌ Girl, now THAT is a plan. Perhaps we should put that on the voting ballot huh? 😝 It’s not about a single bullet point in this reproductive discussion. I don’t even want to think about what’s next. I am just stunned to learn how a deplorable choice has been made for so many females, without them having any knowledge that a choice was already made for them. A Male Reproductive Rights Bill should be drafted. LOL 🀣😁😜 Think that will shut ’em up? I appreciate you Mary. I love your spirit! πŸ’– Have an exciting evening! πŸŒ™ Smooches! 😘

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  12. LaDonna my friend, I appreciate your insight and healthy conversation regarding such an important issue. “Be informed” is the key. There is so much that I learn from simply listening, and researching things for myself. πŸ™πŸΌ

    I’ve read about tubal ligations and forced/coerced sterilization laws to be put on the books as a means to control undesirable populations. Can you believe that? Yet, we don’t hear about these things when it comes down to women’s reproductive rights. There are too many bullet points to consider in this debatable discussion. When we know better, we do better. Thanks a million for chiming in LaDonna. I truly appreciate it my friend. πŸ€—πŸ’–πŸ₯°

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  13. Thanks so much for your welcoming comment Destiny. It is horrifying and sad indeed. Can you imagine how many dreams have been snatched away from women wanting to be mothers, but on the other hand villainize those who don’t? It is a sad, sad situation indeed. Thanks so much for chiming in Destiny! πŸ₯°πŸ’–πŸ˜

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  14. Absolutely Kym πŸ’― we are on the same page!
    It is a very distressing thing to even think that this can happen.
    It certainly provoked my thoughts and those books I need to read.
    So thank you again for the post my friend.
    Are we rocking and raising glasses at the bar tomorrow πŸ₯‚πŸ’ƒ?
    I will bring the ice 🀭
    Many hugs and smooches back to you ❀️πŸ₯°β£οΈπŸ’•

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  15. Sistah Rosaliene, I know you know. Coerced sterilization especially among poor people, unmarried mothers, people of color, immigrants, and the disabled to name a few things, is simply horrifying and a reproductive injustice. I commented earlier that reproductive rights have more than one moving part, for the parts of this discussion are many.

    When I read books like I have mentioned in this post and others I have not mentioned, I am simply appalled by what I read and what people trying to play God are doing, and think it’s perfectly okay. I’m not an expert, I just try to remain informed about such concerns.

    Sometimes I stumble upon a book, like “Take My Hand” and albeit a novel, the story is based on actual accounts. This breaks my heart, and such injustices need to be called out and stopped. Somehow, I remain hopeful. I appreciate you Rosaliene. Thanks so much for your supportive words! πŸ₯°πŸ™πŸΌπŸ˜ƒ

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  16. Guuurrllll Maggie, I got the ice chest 🧊πŸ₯‚πŸ§Š and I got the spirits! Let’s do this girlfriend! I think we owe it to ourselves to chill out and party like it’s 1999! πŸ’ƒπŸΌπŸ€£πŸ’ƒπŸ½ Sending you a rainbow of love, love, love!!! πŸ’–πŸ’™πŸ’›πŸŒˆπŸ§‘πŸ’œπŸ’š

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  17. Thar is one thing I fail to understand. They make women carry babies to term but do nothing to help mothers or babies have a healthier gestation or any assistance after the birth. Then it’s the mother’s fault for having children she could not afford. We are allegedly pro life but not pro family when it comes to tax relief, affordable childcare, safe schools, etc.πŸ’”πŸ’”πŸ’”

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  18. Oh, my ChickiePotPie… I’m so saddened by what happened to you. I’ve read about the involuntary sterilizations, too, and it’s absolutely gut-wrenching.

    Smooches! πŸ’›πŸˆπŸŒ»

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  19. Guuuurrrrrlllll Mary, bring the wine and I’ll bring my blueprints! LOL 🀣 I can imagine the possibilities! Don’t push us women too hard! It won’t end well! 😱 Hugs and plenty of smooches my friend. πŸ€—πŸ’–πŸ˜˜πŸ’‹πŸ˜

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  20. Thanks, Miz Kym. I do appreciate your support. I can tell some whoppers but I can’t lie that much or want to associate with some of the bottom feeders I might have to mix with. I am also too tired of men not listening to me to want to go into an arena where that is a given. Have you ever notice that a woman will say something and 5-15 minutes later some man will repeat it as an original idea?

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  21. Oh honey, what does not kill us, makes us stronger, not weaker. Thank you so much for your compassion. This is why I can’t watch from the sidelines, even if it is simply to write about it and inform others about the atrocities they may not have heard about.

    Enjoy the rest of your evening ladybug! Continue to be your most FANtabulous YOU! πŸ˜˜πŸ’–πŸ₯°

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  22. I hear you Sister and would have loved to see you get his attention! Talk about Sticking it to the Man! My husband did that too me several times today and is still too dense to realize why I am not happy with him.

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  23. Wonderful post, very interesting, it’s so important to care about ourselves.
    My dear friend Kym thank’s for share and motivated us to being well.
    Have a lovely, relaxing and cozy evening! Cheers! Abrazote mi amiga!

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  24. What a powerful post, Kym, and honestly, I don’t think I could read those books right now. My blood boils too easily nowadays, or least until Nov. 5th. Just the idea that a woman can be told what she can or can’t do with her body is insane! There are no rules telling men to have a vasectomy or to prevent them from having affairs. It’s so infuriating, not to mention, the concept of birth control being taken away which would affect my daughter.

    I don’t know what will happen in the future, but I’m hoping, praying, and certainly crossing fingers and toes for an outcome that would benefit not only women, but all people of our country. I feel like we’re beginning to backpedal to the 1800s, and that is beyond frightening. I normally keep my thoughts to myself, but you opened the door, so thanks for ‘listening.’ And thanks for bringing awareness. These lines say it all:

    “The muffled voices of girls and women who have cried and suffered from decisions made by someone else about their bodies is an injustice, shackles their voices and is a heavy burden they should never have to bear alone or at all.”

    Love and hugs, my friend xoxoxo

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  25. πŸ˜‚πŸ™ŒπŸΌπŸ€£ Guuurrrrrlllll, now THIS made my morning! Now where did I put my wine? I gotta drink to that!!! 🍷πŸ₯‚πŸΉ Hugs and plenty of uncluttered moments throughout your day today Miz Pat! 🌞 You are too much honey bunny! 🐰

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  26. Oh my gosh Tom, yes, yes, yes. I simply love your comedic intro sentence my friend. 😝 I can read a lot into that line! 😜 But you’re absolutely right. This is Insanity 2.0. 😲 Unreal. Thanks a million for your insight and input my friend. Stay well and enjoy your weekend. Do something fun! πŸ₯°

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  27. I appreciate you Dawn and “your” voice is “your” platform. πŸ™πŸΌ A lack of understanding, compassion, and knowledge can make a person look so foolish when they don’t even “try” to feel any sense of empathy for what real people are dealing with. I say walk in the shoes of the lowly and marginalized for about a week with only the tools and circumstances they have at their disposal.

    I don’t know why we have to have discussions like this, but it isn’t something that’s new. As you duly noted, we keep pushing forward…no going backwards! πŸ™ŒπŸΌ Sending you lots of hugs, love, and smooches sistah queen! πŸ₯°πŸ‘‘πŸ‘ΈπŸ½

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  28. Oh my dear Elvira, as always I appreciate your kind words coming from your warm heart. Thank you so much for your endearing comments and may your evening and weekend be as awesome as you are. Hugs and smooches mi amiga! πŸ™†πŸΌβ€β™€οΈπŸ’–πŸ₯‚πŸ˜˜πŸ’πŸ˜Žβ˜•πŸ°

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  29. Lauren, thank you! πŸ™πŸΌ I concur with everything you have said. You know, I usually keep my mouth shut too for the sake of not alienating people, but to open the eyes that are closed to a very real reality. But this is the type of injustice that so many are suffering from and we cannot remain silent. As you noted, your daughter would be affected by such extreme laws.

    Honey, at times I feel like we are living in the land of the “The Invasion of the Body Snatchers.” Remember that movie from 1978 starring Donald Sutherland? It is frightening.

    We try to lift up our voices, not in an “egotistical” way, and not remain complicit when we witness such horrors affecting so many. Yep, these novels are recommended, but you’re going to have to read them when you think you can stomach the subject matter. Yet, for now, as you duly noted, no backpedaling to the 1800’s. We’re moving forward, and we have the capability and ability to right the injustices that have been going on and affecting so many negatively, for far too long now. We have got to put the brakes on insanity. Thank goodness we have the means to do so.

    Love, hugs, and plenty of smooches coming your way. Stand strong and stay encouraged. Possibility is always an opportunity that we shall seize to right some crazy wrongs! I stand with you my friend. I’m honored that this message resonated with you! πŸ€—πŸ™πŸΌπŸ’–πŸ˜˜πŸ™ŒπŸΌ

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  30. I remember that movie like it came out yesterday, Kym! Scary! And you said it all. I am now speechless, but in a good way. Moving forward while soaring on the wings of optimism. Sending you lots of love, hugs, and smooches, too! πŸ₯°πŸŒ»β€οΈπŸ’«πŸ₯‚πŸŽ‰

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  31. These look interesting with meaningful messages. Thank you for sharing, Kymbelina. πŸ“š With a writing project completed, I do look forward to diving into some good reads. Happy Friday to you! 🌞

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  32. Thanks for sharing the video link, Kym. I wasn’t familiar with Matisyahu’s music and the song reminded me of Bob Marley’s reggae beat. I’ve read that his pro-Israel stance has created controversy among Palestinian Americans. Peace and love to you, too, sistah ❀

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  33. Thank’s my dear friend Kym for your kind words and support always.
    It’s a pleasure visit your blog.
    Have a wonderful, relaxing, cozy, fun weekend!!! Hugs and smooches too!
    πŸ™πŸ˜˜πŸ’–πŸ’πŸ§πŸ«–β˜•πŸ₯‚πŸŽ‰

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  34. Women’s rights are human rights (echoing Hilary Clinton from 1995 4th world conference on women). We keep the movement alive with our voice, artivism and advocacy. I appreciate you queen!!

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  35. Oh my dear Lauren, I receive that my friend. Thank you so very for your warmth and encouragement. Your kindness is always appreciated my dear. Enjoy the rest of your weekend! 😎πŸ₯‚πŸ˜˜πŸ’πŸ™†πŸΌβ€β™€οΈ

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  36. Thanks so much Michelina my dear. These topics are ones that made me cringe when I read these books, but gave me great insight and a better understanding of what I’d learned through the years that are horrendous acts against women. It’s hard not to say something when you see something. I appreciate you my Dancing Queen and continue dancing the whole weekend through! Happy Labor Day! πŸŒžπŸŽ‰πŸ˜ƒ Enjoy! 🀩

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  37. Yeah Rosaliene, his vibe reminds me of Bob Marley’s music too. I heard that song about a decade ago, and loved the message. I guess since he is Jewish it’s the basis behind his controversial stance. Girl, I just pray that this war and the Ukranian war is over soon. What can you do when you live in a place where there is great devastation to people and their homes? Let’s continue to saturate ourselves with peace and love sistah queen. Much love! πŸ₯°πŸ’–πŸ˜˜

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  38. I appreciate you Elvira. You always have the most kind and generous words to say and I truly thank you for your positivity and encouragement. Have a relaxing evening and weekend. Hugs and smooches mi amiga! πŸ€—πŸ’–πŸ˜ŽπŸ₯‚πŸŒžπŸ’πŸ₯°

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  39. Thank you for my historical tidbit sistah queen. I needed to hear that roar! Time for that glass ceiling to come down! Fo’ sure! πŸ₯‚ Keep your voice alive! πŸ™†πŸ½β€β™€οΈπŸŽ€πŸ”Š

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  40. Aww! My dear friend Kym & Ambassador of Poetry you are always kind and sweet, that’s means a lot. It’s a pleasure visit your blog.
    Have a wonderful, relaxing weekend!
    Hugs and smooches too! πŸ™πŸ₯°πŸ’–πŸ€—πŸ’πŸ§πŸ«–β˜•πŸŽ‰β˜€οΈβœ¨πŸ₯‚βœ¨

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  41. Awwww, bless you Michele my Belle. πŸ™πŸΌ There is so much insensitivity in the world these days, but we must be the voice of reason. While it can be risky, we try to approach the subject matter with understanding and compassion. Sometimes we try to sidestep controversy, but there is a way to approach it, at least that is my thought. If it is too confrontational, we can always walk away. So cheers my Dancing Queen, to love, peace, joy, and understanding. πŸ₯°πŸ₯‚πŸŒžπŸ’–πŸ˜˜πŸ™πŸΌπŸ’

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