The Healing and Intimate Power of Touch

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Touch is a powerful connection of communication.

I was reminded of this message about the power of touch when I watched a show on TV last week, where the character, a well-renowned surgeon, had already self-diagnosed himself when he came into the emergency room. He requested a specific doctor who was one of his former med students. One of the things this surgeon taught his students was to be aware of when patients are nearing the end of their life or when many have received a weighty diagnosis and never forget to administer compassion and the human touch. During times like these, people are afraid and feel alone. He told them to hold the patient’s hand in order to comfort them and assure them that they were not alone.

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While I understand that doctors have many patients to see, it’s always a good practice to be sensitive and have good bedside manners, by not speaking too clinically but relaying the patient’s condition to them and their families with an ounce of empathy and compassion. I remember having to remind my mother’s doctor of her frosty attitude when mom was having her leg amputated. I took her aside and asked that she up her ante on her compassion quotient and lessen her brash, no-nonsense, hands-off clinical approach when discussing mom’s surgery in front of her because that was my mother, not an animal. I didn’t get into analyzing this doctor’s attitude with her, I simply asked her to be mindful of the way she spoke about my mother’s condition in front of her and us. Maybe that was this doctor’s approach to avoid getting too close to her patients. But, during the rest of my mother’s stay in the hospital, I didn’t have to worry about her doctor’s rigidity after that.

The power of touch, that compassionate and empathetic physical gesture, is something we yearn for when we feel broken and dismayed. Hospitals aren’t the only places to administer such sensitivity and humanness.

Never underestimate the healing power of a gentle touch or a soothing, reassuring tone in your voice. Whether giving someone a hug or holding their hand as they deal with a difficult situation, approach your nonverbal gesticulation with heartfelt kindness. You never know when you will need an empathetic, loving, and caring touch.

Wax On, Wane Off, Light Up

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Watching the full moon a few nights ago drew me into its hypnotic presence, defining a more profound message I’d not really thought about before. Even if we don’t pay attention to the moon that much, we are somehow magnetically drawn to it. I looked at that moon, as I usually do every month, provided there is no rain or cloudiness that blocks its visibility, and was simply smitten by it.

The waxing moon is a phase that comes after the new moon. The waning moon is the final curtain call, coming before the dark moon day. So, as I stood looking out at that full moon, I thought about the fullness of our aura, the bright light that we allow to shine so others may see it and thus allow their glow to shine brilliantly on others. Our “waxing on” allows our spirits to develop into the fullness of showing the pulsation of our compassion, courageousness, and conversation to build up and not tear down. Waning off helps us recharge our batteries and prepare for the next phase and opportunity to let our light shine again and again.

Now, while we can’t compare ourselves to that awe-inspiring orb that sparkles at night and is 238,855 miles or 384,400 km away from Earth, can you imagine how bright our light can illuminate on those who could use a little light in their life right now? Our light can certainly give others hope.

Don’t Manipulate People Who Offer to Help

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Bill Wither’s song “Lean on Me” is a clear and present reminder about the gift of helps. Many years ago, someone gave me a book called “The Ministry of Helps Handbook” (the acronym HELPS is Having Enough Loving People Serving). This book was a guide to understand the ministry of helping (assisting) in the body of the church, serving this body with zeal, and a transformed mind.

While this was easily understandable, I found that during those years of my commitment to focus more on upping my ante to help, I was overworked, underappreciated, and felt myself dying spiritually. I was depleted of energy, pouring out my help on a huge scale, as nothing was being poured back into me to recharge my spiritual and physical battery to do more. This is just one sample of how I and so many countless, well-meaning people are spiritually abused.

Many people who have good hearts and a willingness to help others when they need help can be manipulated by individuals taking the opportunity to squeeze out all they can for their benefit. People who genuinely help, go out of their way to make sure to feed a need from their heart. But like so many well intentions, there are just as many people on the receiving end of the helping hand, who manipulate the situation for their personal gain.

While carefully crafted manipulation sometimes depletes the energy or willingness of the giver, the authentic love of the helper is not deterred, just redirected differently. They may get bruised, sometimes broken even, but another helper comes along to pour encouragement back into their spirits. This helps the helper to multiply a willingness to be fruitful, to recalibrate, and give more to those who are in need, are humbled by, and appreciative of the helper’s time, commitment, and efforts.

What if Wednesday: A Random Act of Kindness?

What if each of us did one, just one, simple random act of kindness today without any preplanning, pomp or circumstance? Can you imagine how contagious that could be? Now, this doesn’t mean you can’t do more, but just one act of kindness could mean the world to one person. What if?

#WhatIfWednesday